Every authentic identity crisis eventually arrives at the realization that, at our very foundation, we are sperm and egg.  Beneath our complex personalities, memories and emotions, is the existential fact that one of many male reproductive cells successfully integrated with a single female reproductive cell which is the basis for our consciousness, all of our experiences, and entire lives.  In fancy language, we are composites, of physicality paired with a rational soul, and, as such, we stand at the nexus point of the cosmos, mediating realities with a unique dignity that not even the angels enjoy (Ps 8:5).  Therefore, each time we are tempted to settle for some superficial identity — “I’m a cop,” “I’m an old man,” “I’m a Catholic,” etc. — we can pause and remember that our deepest self, at the level of biology, is utterly relational.  We can rejoice in the fact that our primary vocation, which pairs love of the one true God with service to our many sisters and brothers (Mk 12:30-31), is etched into our very DNA.  Indeed, we can “be fruitful” just by being (Gen 1:28).  Ave Crux, Spes Unica.

We all know the expression, hurt people hurt people, but do we ever think about how this pattern of pain gets interrupted?  The escape artists, tender of soul and overwhelmed with the grief of trauma, spend their lives in comfortable hideaways that keep them at a safe distance from those who have done them harm, hoping that their wounds will magically disappear.  The self-help gurus say that we just need to finally make up our minds to establish a good boundary with the transgressor and let our “no mean no,” then they spend the rest of their lives anxiously holding the line.  The mystics, unsurprisingly, offer us a middle way: between that island of safety and the impenetrable wall of contempt, there is a tiny window of vulnerability, through which the actions of others are desperately trying to speak.  Indeed, the hurt they give is an awkward attempt at communion which only a listening ear and interpreting heart can identify and transform.  Lord Jesus, teach me to befriend the other at the place where it hurts the most, trusting that by my attentiveness to another person’s wounds mine will be healed.  Ave Crux, Spes Unica.

What would an “acceptance” morality look like?  Instead of vilifying our human desires, wallowing in denial, and playing a perpetual game of interior dualism, we could accept our fundamental goodness, as twisted up and distorted as we may sometimes feel, with the firm hope that a greater meaning will be worked out in time.  The fact that an alcoholic person, for instance, has the very specific desire for alcohol that can be met through intricate systems of innovation, production and transportation of alcohol, is itself an existential miracle that should be celebrated!  Such trust in the very ground of one’s being opens the way for new emotional and spiritual possibilities: the mystery of growth and recovery, the satisfaction of authentic human relationships, and the sheer joy of reaching out to others in service.  The repressed, however, are confined to a life of fighting that offers no greater horizon for anything at all.  Lord Jesus, set within me the sturdy foundation of self-acceptance as the altar for my morality and help me to make something beautiful out of my life.  Ave Crux, Spes Unica.

We hear a lot about “values” in an election year: pro-military, pro-choice, pro-media, pro-business, pro-life, pro-family, or conversely, anti-abortion, anti-federal, anti-establishment, anti-taxes, anti-war, etc.  Even “God” and “religion” have been neatly packaged to fit nicely into a value system!  But, how long can we endure living in these spheres of self-containment?  How long can we deny and repress?  How long can we resist integrating new experiences and new perspectives?  You can have your values, as for me, I want feet!  To touch the ground, to stand, to walk, to run, to hike, to saunter, to trundle, to stroll, to skip, to sprint, to dance, to jump for joy, to go somewhere, to move forward in life, to exercise the dignity of being a unique person in a complex and confusing society.  Let’s therefore allow the Lord Jesus to massage our atrophied feet (Jn 13:4).  Let’s run the way of his commands (Ps 119:32).  Let’s look forward to walking with him during the breezy time of day (Gen :8).  Let’s commit ourselves to following in his footsteps and bringing this value to others (Mt 16:14).  Ave Crux, Spes Unica.